Song of Songs 2 - Internet Dating Is Not Love

Now that I am much older than the last time I read Solomon's Songs of Songs, I realize that all this falling in love stuff and romance is quite disturbing to me, at least the way it seems to be pursued today. It's not that I'm against love. I'm definitely for love. Sadly, this second chapter reminds me of something I'm seeing in many young people today - so focused on the object (person) that they are pursuing while neglecting the things (like education) that they should be focused on.  And, if someone is peeking through the lattice then they are definitely pursuing something or someone and quite inappropriately, I would say. Today, I'd run any young man off that's peeking through anything! But, that is just me...

It is a quite beautiful poem. In it you will find a really good warning: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Songs 2:7 NIV)

Do not try to arouse love until it or you or the one you are pursuing is ready! The time will come when true love comes, but this jumping around from love to love is a bit crazy... a new boyfriend or girlfriend every other week! Be for real! It is a waste of time. Live life to it's fullest and I assure you there is more to life than catch and release. And, pursuing true love on facebook is even crazier. Some of you who may be a bit older, may be wondering what I am talking about.

Today, young people don't date like we use to date - you know - where we actually went to a restaurant or a movie.... Today, they connect on places like facebook. They call it dating. They may never even go on a date like we know a date before they are fighting and break up. It sounds safe in a sense - at least we know where they are - in their bedrooms chatting with someone via the internet.
But, there are a few problems with this.

1. They are locked up in their bedrooms not really living life. Go out and play basketball. Go skating or skiing or kayaking or swimming or fishing or with all the toys they have today sno-mobiling or 4-wheeling! There really are a lot of things you can do. If you are bored, it is because you choose to be bored. Get out of your room and talk to your parents and siblings! Really be with them! Live life!

2. They are not out interacting with other people, a social skill which is going to be necessary in adulthood.

3. We really can never know who that person is on the other side of the chat box. Yes, maybe they see their faces. They may even have mutual friends on the social site. But, can they really know who the person is? Will you in the end, after long hours of wasted time find that they're just playing games with you or even worse find out they are actually very dangerous people. From personal experience, I can say that until you can really look a person in the eye, in the flesh; until you can say I C U, then you can't truly know them.

4. It really makes for a lot of wasted and fruitless time as the young people are focused on these relationships rather than relationships that can really bring peace and joy to one's life. It takes the focus away from the things that are good and healthy for the young person; things that are necessary to prepare them for life as adults.

Let love come naturally. It may be that one day you will even meet your life-long partner on the internet. But, don't push it. Let love begin with the people around you, with your family, your friends, your neighbors and one day you will wake up and realize that you have fallen in love. It will come naturally. As Solomon reminds us today, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

Love will come; but, in the meantime, live life.

God's Peace - Pr. J

P.S. and by the way, the friends you have made over the years are way more important to your happiness than some boy or girl you just met on the internet!  

Job 21: ICU - I See You

Job reminds his friends that a lot of wicked people flourish.  He reminds us that you cannot judge whether one is good or evil by the circumstances that they live in.  It is not what one has or does that determines whether God loves us or not.  Seeing the true character of man is not dependent upon what our physical eyes see.  The heart of man is not worn on the outside, but within. 

One of the modern miracles of technology is the cell phone.  I know a lot of people think that they're over used and misused, including myself.  However, it is an invaluable tool for me to be able to keep track of my granddaughter who spends a lot of time with me.  It has a GPS tracking device on it so when she goes to a friends, her dad and I could actually check to make sure she is where she says.   When we're out shopping together, when it's time to leave, all I have to do is text her the register number and she's there in a moment - no running around looking for her.  And, when we go to football games and she thinks I can't see her I can remind her, without embarrassing her in front of her friends, that she needs to take some corrective actions.  (My eyes aren't so bad that I can't see across the football field.)  If her behavior is starting to escalate, I text something like:  "Come here now" and if I see an attitude beginning to build within her, I text "ICU."  I see you - I know her well enough to see right through to her next move and the next move better not happen!  Texting ICU is way worse than texting, come here now, because it uncovers what one would like to keep covered.  It's like opening the closet and the skeletons falling out.  My sons use to say this was assuming on my part, since they hadn't actually done anything, and they weren't thrilled with it.  Funny how now her father sees her, too, just like I use to see him.  When we know and love someone, we are connected to them in a very strange way and we can, in a sense, see the stirrings in their hearts and minds.     

Just because someone looks good on the outside, it doesn't necessarily mean they are good on the inside and just because someone looks bad on the outside, it doesn't necessarily mean they are pure evil on the inside.  Good and bad survive in this world together.  It would behoove us to learn to connect to the real person within, to the spiritual person, so that we're not busy condemning people because of the not so good circumstances that might surround them.

Oh, maybe you think that I am judging my granddaughter.  I am not.  I am trying to train her up in the way that she should go, because I love her and that love is unconditional.  It may not always be comfortable for her, but I'm pretty sure she "sees me" enough to know how much I do love her. I want her to learn how to see people and not just what she see's with her eyes, but the whole person.  And.. yes, I want to protect her and teach her to protect herself by being able to observe the world around her.  There is good and there is evil in this world.  And... not everything is as it appears on the surface.  Sometimes evil looks, on the surface, very good (like the freinds) and what looks bad (Job) is actually very good.

Well, sorry I rambled a bit this morning - hope it makes sense.  Have a blessed day and may the peace of the LORD be with you always.  Pr. J.