Happy Anniversary

Today is my husband's and my 43rd wedding anniversary. We are, again, many miles apart. We have spent much time apart from each other over the years. I can't really remember too many anniversaries that we have celebrated together on the actual date.

Although we are united in holy matrimony, we are still separate people with individual gifts and individual callings. Sometimes, those callings have overlapped and we have served side by side. Sometimes, they didn't. However, we have always been able to serve according to our individual gifts even when we were miles apart. Whatever God calls each of us to do; we have vowed to support each other until death parts us and that is what we strive to do. One call that we both have (as well as all of you reading this) is to love the Lord our God with all our hearts and souls and minds; with all that we say and think and do.

When two people are united by God in marriage; they are not united for their own glory. When the commitment is made, it is not just to each other; but, to God. They are united so that the individual gifts of each partner may be joined together to bring glory to God.

So even we are apart physically we are always united in the love that God has given us.

God's Peace - Pr. J

P.S. Our son, John, messaged me after he read this post to let me know that his father and I have been married for 44 years not 43. When you've been married this long you kind of lose track of time!

Marriage: Partners for Life

Partners for Life

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
    for out of Man this one was taken.”

Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:18-24

 

Someone gave my husband the photo above not long ago. It was taken a very long time ago. We had been married for about ten years when it was taken. We will celebrate forty-four years together this winter. So, we've been together for awhile. The photo reminded me of all the up and downs of married life. Living and serving in Rota was one of our periods together when we had way more ups than downs. It was a very good time, indeed. 

 

We have not always worked like partners. Marriage can be very hard work as two individuals attempt to live out their individual and mutual callings together. We have, at times, definitely worked against each other rather than with each other. But, no matter what struggles we have gone through; no matter how many times we may have thought that maybe the partnership should end; we have always gone back to the fact that it was God who joined us together. He gave us each other to help and support one another even to the end of our days on earth. 

 

Our days are getting shorter. We are both too old to spend too much time working against each other. But, it does still happen. Even while we are one in Christ, we still have different gifts; different calls and we find ourselves going in different directions. At times like that, we've found it's best to give each other a little space to grow and serve God in the direction He calls us as individuals. We give a little space even while we continue to help and support one another. 

 

Marriage can be very difficult; but, it is also a very great blessing. God has given you a partner for life in your husband or wife. May God help us to make the most of this great gift of marriage.

 

God's Peace - Pr. J

No Adultery

The Sixth Commandment.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

What does this mean?--Answer.
We should fear and love God that we may lead a chaste and decent life in words and deeds, and each love and honor his spouse.

http://bookofconcord.org/smallcatechism.php



What has been done cannot be undone. How hard I try to impress upon our young people (and older) that one can certainly be forgiven their sins; but, we cannot erase our past relationships! They will always be with us emotionally and spiritually. No one except your previous partner and you may ever even know about these liaisons; but, that does not negate the fact that you were joined to one another, if only for a few minutes. And... once joined; you will never be completely unjoined. No matter how hard you try to erase the memories, they will be permanently imbedded in your mind, coming to the forefront when you least expect it.

God did not create this commandment because he doesn't want you to enjoy life. In fact, he wants you to have an abundant and, yes, even a joyful life. Marriage and family can truly be a blessing from God. The children will come and go to raise their own families. But, how wonderful it is to have one person to share your entire life with. The less our lives are encumbered with old lovers making entrance into this new relationship; the less encumbered our lives are with carrying old baggage; the more pleasant and peaceful our lives will be.

There are those who have the mistaken idea that adultery only applies to those who are in a committed relationship: that it does not apply to those who are not married or living together. This is false. Adultery includes having sexual relations (doesn't necessarily even have to include sexual relations) with anyone that you are not bound to, in marriage, for life. Any and all sins can be forgiven by God. However, in this world there are most often consequences for our sins. Adultery has many adverse effects on self and on family. The harmful effects of parents' multiple relationships on children has been well documented. Adultery and the inability to be faithful to those whom we claim to love harms the whole family as well as society around us.

This commandment was not given to benefit God; but, to benefit humankind. If you desire a peaceful life, remain faithful; first to God, and then to one another.

May God help us to be faithful to those whom He loves.

God's Peace - Pr. J

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 Yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NIV
Our reading today does not mean that we should not minister to unbelievers. It does not mean that we should not make all attempts to live peaceably with the unbeliever. It is a reminder that we should yoke ourselves to other Christians and not make lifelong commitments with unbelievers.

If you doubt this, then ask a Christian man or woman who is married to an unbeliever how that's working out for them. It does work out in many cases. But, it can be most difficult. It can be terribly trying for the believer who has Christ as the priority, while the spouse has another focus. Sometimes that other focus might be something that goes directly against the will of God. Sometimes it is more subtle and can drag the believing partner down.

Take St. Paul's warning against being yoked to the unbeliever. Love your neighbor, do justice... but, be careful that you are not tempted to live in such a way that Jesus takes a back seat in your life. You are a child of God. Live as a child of God within the family of God. However, if you have yoked yourself by marriage to an unbeliever; do your best to be a witness of God's love for them and for you so that in the end they too might be saved.
God's Peace - Pr. J

1 Cor 7 Marriage or Not?

1 Corinthians 7 NIV
To marry or not to marry, that is the question.

Paul's concern is that whatever it is that we choose that it does not hinder us from serving the Lord. The married person has a family to care for and sometimes that will be the priority. Sometimes, family can be a distraction. Fortunately, most of the time it seems to be a blessing. The unmarried person may be distracted from focusing on service to the Lord by lust or not even always lost; but, just the desire to have someone to share life with.

I have been married for 43 years. And... yes, sometimes my family has distracted me from the ministry to which I am called. But, I was married and had a family long before I accepted that call to serve God as a Pastor in His Church. Paul exhorts us, in such circumstances to remain as we are.

Fortunately, my husband does support me in my call as I try to support him in his call as an administrator at our adult foster care. The main thing is that we both try to be faithful to our call and to the One who calls us.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Luke 20:27-40 The God Of The Living; My God

Luke 20:27-40 NIV
He is the God of the living; "the god of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the god of Jacob;" my God.

The Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection so they tried to trick Jesus into backing them up with the question about who would be married to whom in the resurrection. They failed in their pursuit in trying to get him to deny the resurrection. The resurrection is not about temporal things. It is not about being united or reunited with our spouses. It is about brothers and sisters in Christ being reconciled to God our Father. Being united with God is what life in the Kingdom is all about. Could there possibly be any greater joy than attending the marriage feast of the Lamb?

Even as Abraham, Isaac and Jacob live, so shall all who believe in Him. We shall live in the Kingdom, even as we die to this world. He is the God of the living. Because He lives so shall we.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Mark 12:18-27 - No Marriage In Life After Death

Mark 12:18-27 NIV

Well, here is one tradition that I am glad we do not following: the widow marrying her late husband's brother! My brothers-in-law probably would not appreciate it, either. Not that I don't love them; not that I don't love my husband; but, here in my latter years, I have come to know a love greater than any love that is possible within the hearts of man or woman. It is the unconditional love of God for his children. It is the love of God for His bride, which is the church (all God's people). Isaiah (54:5 NIV) tells us:
"For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth."

The Sadducees were concerned about this world and wanted to dispel any notion of eternal life. They wanted to trip Jesus up regarding whether there would be a resurrection or not with a question about marriage after death. Of course, the Sadducees thought that when you're dead, you're dead. Jesus tells them that they are wrong on both counts. There will be no marriages between man and woman in the Kingdom and that there definitely is life after death. He tells them: "Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the account of the burning bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!” (Mark 12:26-27) Abraham, Isaac and Jacob had been long gone at the time of Moses. Yet, God affirms that He is their God. The dead cannot love or worship anyone. Yet the great "I AM" is their God; therefore, they must be living. Makes absolute sense to me....

God's Peace - Pr. J

Mark 10:1-12 Marriage/Divorce

Mark 10:1-12 NIV
Today we have a hard reading for today's society.

"He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12)

Divorce is a difficult thing. When God joins two people they truly become one flesh. Then because of the hardness of our hearts, we attempt to tear apart what God has joined together. In the case of a divorce we can succeed in distancing ourselves, but we will always be a part of that other person. Whether for the good or bad we cannot ever be separated completely.

Divorce is not God's will, according to Jesus. But, because of the hardness of our hearts, Moses wrote the law allowing divorce in order that there would not be even more hardship to either person. Divorce happens. Sometimes, it may even be necessary for the safety of everyone involved. But, in today's society, it happens all too often. It is routine. Families are separated. Children grieve and suffer. The divorcees grieve and suffer. "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Mark 10:9)

One way to avoid divorce and the hurt it causes would be to take marriage more seriously even prior to the wedding. Marriage is a life-long commitment. It is the joining together of two people by God. Marriage is not one big reception after the wedding. The marriage can be a lot of work. It takes real commitment and most absolutely the constant and continued help of God. I'm not really sure why so many think they should commit themselves to marriage without first committing themselves to trusting God to help them.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Matthew 22:23-33 - Married To Man Or To The Lamb

We have today one of my many favorite scripture readings.

First, we need to make note that the Sadducees were once again testing Jesus as they did not believe in the resurrection of the dead. I understand that is why they were "sad, you see?" (sorry, couldn't resist temptation)

Secondly, I have never quite figured out how this desire to be reunited with our family after death has become such a priority in our concept of the Kingdom of God. I imagine that this imaginary widow may have (or may not have) loved at least one or more of these seven brothers. She may (or may not have) genuinely grieved the loss of every one one of them. My personal desire is to be reconciled to God first and then all my brothers and sisters in Christ. As, I have said, on many occasions previously. "There is a blood that is thicker than blood. It is the blood of Christ shed for you." All who believe will be and are united with God and with one another in the Kingdom of God.

Years ago, I studied with a certain Christian sect. They were pretty insistent that in the New World we would live with our families. I just could never figure out which family that was. I would live in the same house with my husband and children, my husband's parents and their children and their children; as well as my sisters and their children and their multiple husbands' parents and all of their brothers and sisters and children. Families could get quite large and I could just never figure the point of it all. Sounds just a might carnal for a spiritual kingdom to me. But, that's just me. I'm thinking that maybe (just maybe) in the Kingdom of Heaven we will find amazing joy and the peace that surpasses all understanding; as we find ourselves in the presence of God.

The marriage I am looking for in the Kingdom is found in Revelation 19:9: "Then the angel said to me, 'Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' And he added, 'These are the true words of God.'"

God's Peace - Pr. J

Malachi 2 - Keeping the Covenant; Semper Fi

  "Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?" (Mal 2:10 NIV)
     Good question, hey?! Malachi is speaking specifically regarding divorce. Why would we break the covenant we have with the one whom we have committed to share our whole lives with here on earth? Malachi reminds us that one of the issues in many divorces is that one partner in that commitment may strive to keep the covenant that has been made with the one true God; while the other serves another or, maybe, many false gods. Sometimes (often) the one who worshipped God will turn away from him. More and more often, the tension, caused by not having God in the relationship, will bring the union to an end. If we truly intend to keep our covenant of marriage then it is a very good thing to base that covenant on the covenant that God has made with us. It is a good thing to have the marriage blessed; but, it is also imperative that we trust God for the blessing. If we do not live in the covenant we have with God, it is going to be pretty rough going trying to keep our covenant with another human being.
     It reminds me of a motto the U.S. Marine Corps has been fond of: "God, Country, Corps." That might sound trite to some. But, it is not. When someone commits to the armed services, it is much like a marriage. It is a 24/7 and 100% commitment. However, in order to keep the commitment to country and Corps, it should be recognized that God must come first in our lives. He will help us keep our commitments. (Of course, this motto was used much a few decades ago. They may have done away with it, by now, to be politically correct.)
     Semper Fi - Always Faithful - is another U.S. Marine Corps motto. May God grant that we should always be faithful to Him above all others as well as to those whom we have committed to share our lives with here on earth.

God's Peace - Pr. J

Esther 2 - Marriage Made In Heaven?

A marriage made in heaven?!  Well, actually knowing the outcome of the whole story, God's hand probably was guiding this whole transaction.  But, what a way to find a wife!  Not so unlike today!  Try them all out, first! 

Here's the difficulty that I have with the whole thing:  the women allow themselves to be treated like property, like clothes in a department store - tried on for size with the very real possibility of being cast aside.  Then and now.  I just don't get it.  Of course, so many women are trying on men, as well.
And when a husband or wife is finally found, suitably fitting one's ego, now is that a marriage made in heaven?  No wonder there are so many divorces today.  With so much unknown baggage being carried into the marriage, it's no wonder there are so many divorces today.  Course, there are quite a few marriages being entered into, that begin, with the mindset of King Xerxes - try it - see if it fits - if not - send them back to the harem they came from. 

Yes, I am being a little cynical this morning.  I see how so many of our young people (not just young people - they've learned well from the older generations) treat their relationships.  Like shopping in a department store for the fanciest or most expensive (name brand) clothes or like when that old pair of old blue jeans don't fit any longer, casting them aside.  Sometimes divorce may be very necessary. (We'll get to that in the New Testament) But, just because you find something, someone, who pleases you more at the moment is not a reason to end the covenant you've made with someone else.

Marriages made in heaven?  I don't know about that.  But, I do know that when you ask God to bless your union - He joins you as one 'till death parts you.

God's Peace - Pr. J
 

Ezra 9 - Marriage With Non-Believers

Intermarrying with those who are not people of God.  This was not a good thing! 

And... for those who have married and still marry those who are not of the same faith it is still a pretty tough thing.  I can't even begin to remember how many marriages I have attended or officiated at where one was at the time a Christian faithfully worshipping God and the other was not.  The marriages may endure, though there are so many more trials and tribulations for them to endure.  How many times I have heard of the sadness of the believer that their spouse cannot share their faith - the loneliness that is felt as they go off to worship on Sunday mornings - alone.  On rare occasion, the faith of the non or marginal believer (if there is such a thing) will grow thanks be to the witness of Jesus Christ through the believer.  But, more often, the one who was once faithful begins to follow in the ways of the world, in the ways of the spouse and they are no longer seen communing with the Body of Christ, either.

Because of the grace of God, all things are permissible, but not all beneficial.  It sure would make life easier if we would take into consideration the faith of our future partners in life when we make that commitment to love them until death parts us.  Our relationship with Jesus Christ is like a marriage.  When we choose to bind ourselves to things or people of this world that would draw us from him, that is adultery and it leads to idolatry. 

No matter which way we look at it - marrying an unbeliever has you treading on dangerous ground.

Ruth 4 - Marriage Is About Commitment

Most often when I counsel couples about to be married, I talk about the commitment that marriage is. It is a contract between two people to be bound together, to live together, supporting each other 'till death parts them. For what God joins together, man cannot separate. Even when divorce happens and it does at times... once they have been joined together, they will always be a part of one another.

I remind them that marriage is as much about commitment as it is about love - even more so. It is the commitment they make and keep that will help their love to stay strong and even grow. There will be days in their lives together when they may not feel like they love one another any longer. It will be in those times that they should remember the commitment they made to one another as they stood before God and the people and made a covenant to share their entire lives with each other. They will need to remember that they have committed themselves to love and to care for each other till death parts them. Marriage is about commitment. It is about faithfulness. It is about loyalty.

After such a short time of having known Ruth, Boaz cannot know if he truly loves this woman - at least not in the way that comes with caring for someone through time. But, he is committed to seeing that she and her mother-in-law are cared for. He is committed, as is Ruth and Naomi, to seeing that the family name, the inheritance of Elimelech, is passed on for another generation. He is willing to father a son, who shall be his late relative's son, who shall be the inheritor the property left behind and the son who will care for Naomi in her old age. He is committed to blessing not just Ruth, but the mother-in-law, Ruth, whom she does love. Boaz is committed to love and to care for Ruth and all whom she loves.

Marriage is a life-long contract. It is a commitment to love and care for each other, no matter what may come. There may be times when we may think that maybe we made a mistake in making that commitment, but as we work on that commitment, love will indeed grow.

To follow Jesus Christ, to become his bride, we also make a commitment. There will be many times, when life in relationship with him, may seem like it is more of a commitment than we can bear. But, as we remind ourselves of the commitment he has made to us, we will be reminded of the great love he has for us and our love for him and one another will also grow.

May the LORD give us the faith, strength, and courage needed to help us in our commitment to love the LORD with all our hearts, souls and minds and to love one another as ourselves.